I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
