remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
pray to the hookup gods
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
