I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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