Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
