So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
