Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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