"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
