is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
