i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
