Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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