omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
