I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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