Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
