You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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