Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Alive.
So much puke
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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