I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
