Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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