I'm so fucking centered right now
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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