A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
