i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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