My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
