What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Drunk is a universal language darling
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
