I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
