16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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