I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
