Sponge bath it is.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
do herpes really smell.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
