see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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