It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
