Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
