We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
