Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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