Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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