There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
