I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize