Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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