I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
