just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
