you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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