I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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