The brown eye won't let me do that either.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
