So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
