Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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