it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
