Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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