after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
