That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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