Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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