STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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