a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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