so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
