yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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