i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Best friends brother. Beat that.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
