i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
