So drunk its hurt
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
