hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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