trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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