just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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