She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
