He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
