Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
