the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
