So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
