I just saw a hot homeless man
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
