What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
