Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
